Hmmmm, fold laundry or blog? Funny thing is if I start my house work before I blog, I’ll never get to my blog. Housework is always there. The muse to write is not, so take her when she beckons is my motto.
I’ve probably mentioned before that Joe and I don’t eat out, don’t go to the movies, don’t hit the bars, don’t get all doll’ed up and go out dancing. So we call our weekly or bi-weekly trips to Wal-Mart “Date Night”. We’re kind of funny that way. Funny ha-ha, not funny queer. It just so happens that yesterday was “Date Night” but it was during the day not at night. Not that we think Wal-Mart is the best place to do groceries, but it is convenient being able to get everything in one place. Also the price is relatively fair, cheap, and if it’s not the best price the Savings Catcher App will send back the difference.
The illogical reasons for shopping here are kind of selfish. The entertainment we find typically can’t be found anywhere else. I find a lot of my book characters when we go shopping. If you enjoy people-watching Wally World is the place to go. The Mexicans are delivered in bus loads to make their weekly purchases. Forget about buying Roma tomatoes or Chile peppers, the bins are emptied. The Mexican men intrigue me the way they wear their Sunday best with their cockroach boots and enough aftershave to cover up the smell of a whole cow pasture. Joe says they’re there to score a white chick! I think it’s funny but they never find me interesting, however they do like Joe’s pretty blue eyes.
There’s big ole’ corn dog lady who’s ass is so fat that she needs to ride one of the electric chairs around to do her grocery shopping. While shopping she’s stuffing a mustard slathered corndog into her face. Someone might want to tell her maybe a carrot stick would be the better choice. Who am I to judge? I just watch.
The store was packed like any other Saturday afternoon. We tried to find an empty register, but every one of the five that were opened had a line of at least four people, with overflowing carts of goods. Even the self-service check out registers had long lines, but we decided to go there anyways. As I was waiting our turn, I didn’t realize Joe dropped behind because he stopped to find one of the coupon’s that blew off list. I was oblivious.
“Hey, how are you doing today?”
I looked up to see the tall manager of the store speaking to me. “I’m fine and how are you?” I responded assuming he was just being friendly.
“Great.” He says and holds out two bottles of Dr. Pepper. “I’m just getting ready to go to lunch.” The man is huge. Joe and I nicknamed after the lyrics from Tunnel of Love by The Boss. ‘Fat man sitting on a little stool’. The man is huge. Huge as in tall. Taller than Joe and Joe’s tall!
“Ah, liquid lunch.” I’m trying to be friendly, but I’m feeling awkward.
“So what are you up to today?” He asks and standing just behind me to my side.
I feel his eyes peering down into my cleavage. I’m feeling a little strange about that. I’m wondering if the manager is really doing what I think he’s doing. Yes, he is. He is looking down my shirt into my boob cleavage because he stands at least three feet taller than me.
Now I’m really uncomfortable. Where the hell is Joe? I need his comfort. I turn and there’s the grocery cart with Joe in tow. Thank God!
“Well,” I say, putting my hand on the cart. “We’re here just doing our groceries!”
He looks at the cart and his eyes find Joe’s eyes. The surprise on fat man’s face was priceless. He was not expecting to see Tall Cool ☺ne. He tried hard to make small talk with Joe, but we all knew about the white elephant in the room. He sauntered away, tail between his legs and head held low.
When we got out to the truck Joe was still laughing because the manager of Wally world was trying to take me out to lunch! We don’t think he had lunch in mind.
Just another adventure in the crazy world of Joe and Ella.
Until next time,